I Can Eat Anything I Want and Still Lose Weight.

Week 11: weight 187, 11 pounds down and 19 to go.

I am surprised by the my steady weight loss now! I weigh myself all the time but only record the Wednesday morning (naked on bathroom scale after urinating) weight. This is the only way I have found to not get discouraged by the water weight fluctuations we all experience throughout the day and week. Now that I am in a habit of exercise, I think that I have gained a metabolism momentum which should carry me to my goal in mid-August without too much fuss.

I also play a couple of self-talk games with my self. I repeat to myself. "I can eat anything I want and still lose weight." Funny, I find myself not wanting stale donuts. I also tell myself, "Exercise is fun, and makes me feel better." I look forward to going to the gym when I can.

On Tuesday I went to court and my divorce was granted. Of course, just like when I was married, I experienced a mixed bag of emotions, but mostly relief. I will just wait for the final decree. I still feel some obligation to my ex for my children's sake, and just because we were married for, officially, 18 years. (Oh that can't be right, did I really waste that much time?) Well, maybe not completely wasted. I did build a career, and raised children; though they tell me that their lives began after we ran away from their dad. Have I really not had sex in 2 years now? Thank goodness for Chris and an active fantasy life.

Oh dear, now maybe I've said too much!

It's a beautiful spring day today. Bless you all!

Sarah

Exercise and Sleep

Week 9: weight 189, 9 pounds down and 21 to go.

I've had the past two days off and slept most of both of them away. I've eaten too much, especially at work, but kept exercising like my sanity depended on it. I try not to think too much about the tragedy.
I need to clean my kitchen now. The floor needs mopping. I won't be able to get any housework done after the kids get home from school. We're going grocery shopping, after we exercise.

Sarah

One joyous day

I actually wrote this February 24, but had some trouble posting because I lost battery power to my laptop.

I wanted to post it anyway, because it was such a good feeling, and one of my last carefree days for a while. As a mother, one rarely feels carefree. And after getting the news that my children's father has a terminal disease and a 6 month prognosis, pure joy will be in short supply. I did go to yoga today and tried not to let too many tears fall on my mat. Being separated and in the process of a divorce just makes coping that much harder on all of us. My soon to be ex-husband has been told he has end-stage liver disease, alcoholic cirrhosis. My healthy life should be called my crazy life. For now it may be all about my mental health.


Week 6,Wednesday, weight 190 pounds, 8 down, 22 to go.

It's been a month since I posted anything!? I've been up to my knees in snow drifts and up to my ears in puppies, which my brother found out in the open on New Years day. The nearly wild mother is young and inexperienced, so we brought them all into the house. I hate having animals in my house. I hate cleaning. The kids are happy.

I feel back in the swing of things with the exercise. I've been able to work out three days in a row. Even my son likes going to Zumba! Of course, I make plenty of time for helping him with his bench press. He's getting stronger! He can actually push the standard bar now. I'm getting stronger again too. I am back up to a 75 pound bench press, failed at 95. I have to laugh at myself having two small teenagers help me finish the lift.

I am trying not to worry too much about food right now, otherwise I get stressed over the stale donut I had at work, and eat even more crazy stuff. Today it was Zumba, then yoga and yogurt after that. Finally a chat with Chris. All things that make me feel happy and relaxed. I have had a great morning!

I hope you have a great day too!

Sarah

Namaste

Week 2, Day 1, Weight 195 pounds, 3 down, 27 to go.


Yoga was great this morning, I really like yoga. It feels like a luxury. My first memories of exercising on purpose were getting down on the floor in front of the television with my mother and watching the lady with the waist-length braid and a large yellow cardboard sun behind her demonstrate "cat" "dog" and various other poses.
I was probably 4 or 5 years old. I remember my sister being born when I was 5, but I do not remember much about her being pregnant. What a forward-thinking 40 year old mother of eight she was to be doing yoga with her preschoolers on the living room floor in 1976!
I guess that's why yoga feels so much like a luxury. I reminds me of a large room with green carpet and a large picture window which let the light in, and television tuned to PBS, and my mother and I doing cat, cow, and dog poses.
After yoga I did 35 minutes on the elliptical and burned over 300 calories. Wish I could take a sabbatical from my ER job and do this every day. But bills have to be paid and children have to be fed and clothed, so I'll squeeze it in when I can.

Namaste

A New Beginning: Week One

I have not made a new year's resolution to loose weight. I don't like dieting. But my blood pressure and my stress levels are high. I do like exercise, though. I have been living apart from my soon to be ex for 2 years and my mother (meddling and hypercritical as mothers can be sometimes) has insisted on spending money on my weight loss. She wanted to enroll me in Jenny Craig. I talked her into paying my start up costs for a family YMCA membership instead. I have promised her that I will lose 30 pounds in 30 weeks. I am 5'2" and weigh 198-202 pounds depending on when and which scale I step on. So in 30 weeks I plan to weigh 168-172 pounds depending on when and which scale I step on.

I hope this blog will help keep me motivated. I will list what I eat, and what and how much exercise I've done. I may even share a bit of my day; my frustrations, and triumphs.